I <3 vintage-looking wedding dresses

I would choose a wedding magazine over dessert.
I'm not a creepy domestic chic that wants to get married tomorrow, I just love looking at pretty things. I love flowers, dresses, and vows in general, so I guess that came together to bestow upon me the wedding bug. I helped my cousin plan her wedding a while ago, and it was one of the most fun experiences I've ever had. All that to say, I'm in love with this new wedding dress designer. Her name is Stephanie James, and her dresses are works of art.
Check them out:
http://www.stephaniejamescouture.com/
And she blogs too!
http://www.stephaniejamescouture.com/blog/?cat=7
Most of her dresses are 50s style, and her veils and fabric flowers are divine. If I ever get married, I'm so considering a pillbox hat :)

so new moon...was amazing

SO...we went to the movie theater last weekend...and started to laugh. The line for New Moon wrapped around the side of the theater, and it was roped off like people were in line for the new "Halo" game or something. As I looked around, it seemed like everyone from my little town was there. I'd also like to say that the boyfriends that were there seriously get my vote for being some of the most dedicated I had ever seen...since there was indeed screaming at the many 'taking-off-the-shirt' moments.

So let's talk about this experience in steps.

Step 1: Embarrass my brother royally by kissing him on the cheek and trying to hold his hand. "No! There are hot girls here and they'll think you're my girlfriend"...and then laughing at him when he wouldn't let me go to the bathroom by myself...all of this happened while standing in line to get into the theater.

Step 2: STAMPEDE! into the theater...runrunrunrunrun to get a good seat, and sit next to a middle-aged woman who informed me that this was her 3rd time watching New Moon...at this point the movie had been out for exactly 3 days.

Step 3: Listen to the uninterrupted screaming when the LIGHTS SLOWLY WENT DOWN! OH MAN PEOPLE...CAN YOU BELIEVE IT...THE LIGHTS WENT DOWN!!!

Step 4: I'm getting good at this. This minute a new Robert Pattinson movie starts running it's trailer, I cover my ears. Did he make another movie unrelated to Twilight, scheduled to run trailers at the exact time New Moon came out, on purpose?!?! The screaming is SO LOUD, that I can't: think, breathe, concentrate, whisper to that lady next to me how ridiculous this is. (On a side note, the movie, titled, 'Remember Me', looks phenomenal...and I do want to see it when it comes out in theaters.)

Step 5: Did I mention the screaming? The movie starts and when Kristen Stewart (Bella) falls off her motorcycle and hits her head...there is no bandage. Of course, Taylor Lautner (Jacob Black) conveniently pulls his shirt over his head and presses it to the wound, exposing his killer abs. Let me just say, "props, tay-boy, props". He got seriously ripped for this movie, and that must have taken some WORK yo.

Step 6: Witness some serious sparkling by the quite handsome, Rob Pattinson. There are too many "slowly unveil the abs" scenes in this movie. This sparkling is bad, though, because revealing himself in sunlight in front of all the Italian people at the outdoor celebration would mean DEATH (I'm not explaining...just go read the books dude)

Step 7: Dakota Fanning as the character Jane is a JOKE with a capital J. In the book, Jane is Aro's lover, who is in her twenties, has dark hair, and would never feel the need to murmur "pain" in a monotone voice before inflicting pain on one of her victims. Dakota's Malibu-Barbie dirty blonde hair is a let down, and since she's too young to be Aro's lover without Summit getting sued, Jane has now been transformed into the sister of a younger member of the Volturi (the bad, law-enforcing vamps). This young man is totally not vampire worthy. According to my brother, "That was ALL for publicity! The brother looked like your typical Disney Channel star with a Justin Bieber swoop haircut, and that stupid line, 'good job sister'. I bet he'd just finished filming a scene for 'Suite Life on Deck'. Why didn't they have Zac and Cody be a duo of Volturi brothers instead...just for laughs?" Yeah so...we were so not buying that story line change.

Step 8: Scream OUT LOUD!! with Edward's ending line of, "marry me". Then the screen went black, and I almost jumped out of my seat. WHAT?!?! A CLIFFHANGER?! Wrong yo, seriously wrong.

I hope I didn't ruin the movie for you. If you like action packed romance (think Transformers with some class + Romeo and Juliet) you'll seriously enjoy this movie. I missed the dreamlike, artistic feel of the first one, (and the music in the first one was wayyy better...Twilight 1 has some seriously good tunes...chech out the soundtrack) but the loss of the Indy style was expected since there is more pressure to please more people now that the Twilight phenom has exploded. All in all, I'd give it 4 stars. You won't get bored, but hopefully you won't get an audience of screamers.

Acrostic Poem

Loosen my headache-causing ponytail

Open my mouth the same time my heart closes

Volunteered-out I decide to just go with my brother

Every time I get myself looking lovely, I wonder who it's for

Is it okay to wear Uggs?

Saturday's too far away from now

And I sing 'Somewhere' for the sixtieth time

Learning how to breathe at every rest is still an issue

Late again? Oh, no, it's at 6:30.

You'd be surprised how nervous a person can get

Opal-fuscia-tangerine scarf to add some color

Undecided, I choose the Dorothy monologue. I'm almost sure everyone else will yell @ Chico.

Now I'm so cold I forget where my skin stops, as we make it to the building

Embarrassed, I excitedly borrow some ballet flats

Everyone LOOKS so PREPARED.

Did I mention I'm shaking?

"I've never loved nobody fully, always one foot on the ground."

Think back in the mixed up pools of your mind. You've probably heard those words before, in a song. If you can remember but don't remember who sang them or what song it was, here you go:

Fidelity, Regina Spektor

I uhm...LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LUH-UH-UH-UH-UHV REGINA SPEKTOR!!!

Her name first off, makes me think of

Inspector Gadget, and his cool hat

My friend Regina, who also has ruby-copper colored bouncy curls

and...the advantages that come with inspecting something...like expiration dates...they're small but they could prevent you from drinking some sour orange juice.

Anyways...Regina came to New York from Russia when she was nine. Her family is Jewish, and her English is still broken in a cute English-is-so-not-my-first-language sort of way. I love hearing her talk almost as much as I love hearing her sing, because even in her broken English, she says some amazing and goose-bump creating things. She has an incredible smile, almost always wears red lipstick, and has an insanely great sense of style even though she always dresses modestly. I watched an interview of her today, and she said something that really got my attention...

“It’s really important to be free. I think freedom…freedom of mind and spirit and really taking chances and fully understanding that at the end if you don’t take those chances, if you’re not free, if you get enslaved by your own insecurities or society or things that you’ve been taught or any kind of thing, if you don’t stay free than at the end no one’s going to congratulate you for going through life in a really proper way. You’re not going to get a prize or anything like that it’s just going to be you’re loss. And so knowing that to really try and stay true to myself and to constantly be on the lookout for loss of freedom, even if it’s by my own self, like when I make myself enslaved in some way, to break out of that.”

This was her response to "what's most important to you in your life?" And I was thinking...what's most important to me in my life...because obviously WOW FREEDOM'S A BIG ONE! Is there anything that could be bigger? I was thinking about it, and everything I came up with was impossible without freedom. Even LOVE, without the freedom to express love, it would struggle to survive.

Listening to her speak, even with the scattered "y'knows", and "like" this, "like" thats, reminded me why listening to people matters, and to not be fooled by giddy laughter and a big smile, people can be nice and smart. People can be nice and smart. Like REAL nice, like talk-to-you-in-a-happy-voice-even-if-they-don't-know-you-very-well nice.

woo-hoo road trip...and a nod to our country

Tomorrow, I will be presenting my brochure I wrote for Government class, Freedom and Liberty...on being a citizen, to a group of I-guess-they're-special-and-important people in a city about an hour away from here. Let me just say...I'm more excited about the bus ride there than the actual day of presentations, even though my brochure features some truly beautiful pictures/illustrations/colors, and I managed to incorporate some artsy-creative characteristics while I hit every content topic WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE RUBRIC PEOPLE. That happened to be an accident, but still, I'm Einstein no kidding. And considering the fact that I'm "failing" two of my classes (at my school that means lower than 90%), it was quite a face lift to receive 100% on something I was sure was going to be another adventure in academic flop. Not because of the assignment, but because I have trouble with writing clearly sometimes. I'm actually having a friend do the actual presenting, but I will come up on the stage at the end to answer questions. Might just have to tear up a little when she reads the letter to a "New American Citizen" at the end.

So I thought I'd share the intro that will be read before it's presented:

This brochure is being presented not for the sake of showing something, but because the ideas expressed within its pages are becoming increasingly important as the years go on. The actions of citizens shape government by letting those in charge know what the public wants out of its country. Actions made by American citizens that are uneducated could actually destroy the democratic principles and go against the vision our founding fathers had. It sound extremely cliché, but a country that is, in essence run by the people, relies on its people to sustain it. As long as people are informed of the issues and decisions concerning American politics, and maintain real human relationships with other people in their community, democracy is indeed sustainable. This brochure is an attempt to encourage Civitas, or freedom acquired by being a community leader, and was initially a project designed for welcoming new American immigrants into the country. It is very important that EVERY American understands his or her rights, and it’s equally important for Americans to become involved in their government to sustain their rights and liberties. Consider this a reminder of why it’s great to be an American, and why it’s important to stay conscience of politics in these changing times.

Amazing right? Peace, love, and Jonas

HAHAHA....that was a joke...I hear they're nice people...but I'm not a "fan"...per se...their old stuff was better

"Change is good, it's forever that's hell"

An incredibly brilliant young woman said the words that make up the title of this little post. It made me think. Is forever...a bad thing? Like all overly romantic people who enjoy vampire love stories, I'm a huge Twilight fan. But to never change...to stay the same...forever...

When I was younger I saw that movie Tuck Everlasting with the girl from Gilmore Girls who I totally think is the prettiest actress ever, and I got SO MAD AT HER at the end!!! Why wouldn't she wait for Jesse?! Didn't she know that he loved her?? But to not have the opportunity to have a family of your own, to be stuck at a specific age, with a specific face, to not have last words, grandkids, or the appreciation of life that comes with a last breath (I'm guessing). I don't know...that seems so unnatural...almost like Las Vegas. Have you ever been to Vegas? It's BEAUTIFUL. But it's also an illusion, because it's in the middle of a dessert, and it's completely unnatural, and without all the money that sustains it, and keeps pumping water into the swimming pools and fountains, keeps misting the tourists that walk into the beautiful hotels (no lie it sprays from the ceiling like the vegetable misters at Meyer) it would be nothing. Just a dry, sandy, deserted part of the world, too hot for anyone who's not a local.

So I'm not a professional, but let's hear from one:

Brendan Shea, in the book Twilight and Philosophy, writes: At the close of 'Breaking Dawn', Bella and her allies appear to be well on their way to "happily ever after". One could imagine how the years after the close of the book might go. Renesmee grows quickly to adulthood and moves away with Jacob. Charlie and Renee grow old and die; alternatively, they become vampires and move in with the rest of the clan. Bella travels the world, attends a variety of famous colleges, and writes a novel of her own. But what then? What will Bella and Edward do two hundred years from now? Or two thousand years from now? Eventually, they will have seen every sight and read every book. If they devote themselves to the task, they may succeed in riding the world of the Volturi, or even converting all vampires to their brand of "vegetarianism". There will, at some point, be nothing left to interest them. After thousands of years, they may even lose any need or desire to speak to each other--each knows what the other will say, and without the person saying it. The problem, it seems, is one of boredom.

Hey, you may disagree. I sure did. "NO!! They'll never fall out of love!! Their love is FOREVER!" But think about it, wouldn't you get bored. Will Vegas last, will Botox keep a person young forever? No. And even in the Twilight world, forever is gonna get dull.

So, I'm blessed with my mortality--and the challenge of using my time wisely!

Here's a poem from today and a while ago:

Morning

It's test day and my unsharpened pencil rolls across the table onto the floor.

No one picks it up

I miss the exact moment of starting

I'm not excited enough.

I get so distracted

Grey sunlight picks up the pink iridescent red-blue smudges on a cream colored marker board

Shines rainbow into my eyes

That's lovely.

I pull myself back to the sharp math problems on the page

We finished the reading section

No more passages of almost interesting topics to lose myself in.

It's almost night

The sunset bleeds pink light through my closed window

It's too cold for fresh air.

Frozen golden dew drops from this morning

Watch as the sky turns slowly navy.

Night

It's so pitch black scary I can't even see shadows

It's getting late so early now.

I breathe on the freezing cold glass and draw pictures

A heart, a smile a question mark.

That cricket is still alive

Crying for help behind the T.V.

It's dark back there

He's used to it now

His new nightmare come alive

I wish I could help.

well i knew this day was coming

I joined a lyrical dance class. It's the first dance class I've ever really taken as a young adult. I took tap when I was ten for a year, and ballet when I was five. I got inspired watching contemporary dance on youtube...I wanted it more than anything! I was so pumped...and I did well for classes 1,2, & 3. This time though, I watched most of the time. It was very awkward, me trying to be polite about the fact that I didn't understand and wanted to "sit out" most of the small routines. What was very embarrassing was...the second exercise that I didn't even try seemed to be the easiest for everyone else. Our teacher used ballet terms I had never heard, and my head was spinning just watching her demonstrate. It was a bit depressing, but I'm gonna make myself go back. I think I'll share this for anyone who's ever felt this way before:

They are all so beautiful,

Slender like blades of grass, gracefully dancing across the floor.

I wait until the next set of girls moves up, and I sneak behind all of them

I don’t understand the steps.

This is all so easy for them

Like baby food.

I watch in awe

I wish I could move like that

So beautiful.

I laugh at myself inside

For signing up

And laying out all my money

Thinking I would just

Learn it all

I could keep up!

But here I am.

I clumsily follow the next routine

Missing all the turns and jumps

At the end we’re supposed to free style.

I stop where she stopped teaching

And watch the other girls move like poetry in motion

Elegance dipped in youth.

I’m as still as a statue

Arms crossed

Fighting back tears

It moves me to near crying

So beautiful

But sad

I’ll never get there

“NO!” I shout back to that little voice

“That’s not true…I’ll get there!”

I’m bigger than all the other girls

It shouldn’t matter

At my age

But it does

Cuts like a razor

I “dance to the music” in my own room

Move to words that raise goosebumps when I’m not the 15^th girl

Who makes partnering uneven

I’m too uncomfortable

Too big

They’re all so beautiful