Fishbowl Monday

I had a fish named Jude
Before
I killed him, accidentally
by not feeding him enough,
Before I starved him.

Jude lived in a fishbowl
And
It was so small.
His whole world was in that fishbowl
The whole breadth of it, everything, all.

"There is a whole big world, out there, Jude!"

He never did hear.
Believed he was the biggest fish in the world
Because in his world
He was.

These days,
Predictable,
thick with bubbly interlinked, understood chatter
About things that never touch the under-blessed, under-dressed.
Nothing, never...
Everything's always blessed.

Makes it difficult to remember
When I was deep in dark too far up
To reach my head over
The lip of the cup

It sounds nice
Dwelling daily in fishbowl days
And, yes, it is.
Sometimes it drags, milky footprints, shaking Wonderbread crumbs from my scalp

I see the vibrancy and angst of my younger self
Writing songs, songs, words scrawled in any empty corner
Colors of rainbows Noah never saw

From behind the pane of window glass
Fogging up the surface
My finger traces, "You'll be fine"

She never will hear
Believes she is the biggest fish in the world
Because in her world
She is.