Saturday, February 27, 2010

I'm single, yep yep

I guess my real problem is, I regard almost every guy I meet as my brother.
Yeah, I can flirt.
For like 2 seconds
And then I laugh when they try to flirt back.
Cuz I can see my brother's eyes
Peering out of a different skull.
I don't know why.
It's not like I'm engaging in incest with my bro.
It's more like.
I got the game
Years ago
Before I realized it was a game.
So I'm still waiting
For Prince Charming
Who'll finish my messy sentences.
And get my feelings amongst the words.
Hug me at the right times.
And not check out another girl while they're talking to me.
And not text in the middle of a seriously DEEP conversation.
And not dress like they're going to the gym ALL THE TIME.
And not expect me to like...act stupid because it's sexier.
Is it really sexier to be dumb?
So I guess that's my fate and I didn't even have to pay the fortune teller haha.
Old maid, allergic to cats, but not to cake.

Monday, February 22, 2010

heyo summer. come back from your vay-kay..k?

Today I:
Wore blue tights with a black skirt and realized it at school

Went out in the rain for a fire drill, which occurred in the middle of a giant American Lit test

Couldn't finish the stupid test because of it

Couldn't get myself to offer my project partner a mint to cure his rancid breath

Was cold

Went to dance class and didn't cry afterwards (mostly because I'm not PMS yet..ha)

DID NOT watch the figure skating part of the Winter Olympics...the reason why it's wonderful ( I mean seriously, bobsledding? who is passionate about that. ok maybe i would be. for a day.)

Stayed up too late, again

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Beautiful things

This obsession with pretty things

This perusing through etsy, polyvore, the knot, and now modcloth

This desire for happy endings, bright and happy colors, swishing taffeta skirts

I love them all

These silly

Silver happy

Beautiful Things

We are all beautiful things

Saturday, February 6, 2010

And I thought love WASN'T a band-aid

I'm really...lonliest after I have a fight
I don't know why honestly because it's not like I'm alone. But it feels that way. And the outsides of my hands and head...are achingly hot and burning like the outside of a blistered campfire hot dog, and the insides of me are sick and twirled, like a Dairy Queen cone in the midst of a dizzy, sweaty summer day. And my feet are cold. Like icicles they shake like dry ice steaming, stand out as the focal point of the picture, the true feeling in my shaken psyce: cold bitterness to the day's conclusion. Why I get in fights at all at the end of a long, blissfully (resented) lazy day I will never know. Today was one of those days...where I forgot what good I ever did for myself and asked aloud, "What do you want?", which was answered with "I don't know"...a terrible statement I've made way too many times but which I still judged (and will continue to judge for that matter, I'm human and a bad one apparently since I "remember" things) And you know when all you want is a hug or that one "worst time" moment. I totally get those kissing scenes that are unexpected yet droll and cliche...the couple fights. "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT!!" She turns away...he grabs her hand...pulls her close, up to his hips, his chest, they kiss...I understand those moments now. They make sense. Because in that lonely wish-it-could-be-over-my-heart's-already-done-with-this-subject moment, when I turned away and shut my eyes fast to blink out the small tears that had formed in the creases, I just wanted to be loved.