Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Pink Trees

I lift my head

And I marvel at these pink Spring trees

At the way they reach their hands so far

At the way they never stop praising

Never doubt their welcome

The truth is

They make this season great

Lend their scent to the snow-cleaned air.

They’re smiling at one another

Not intimidated by one another’s brilliance

With one snap

I can pull off one flowered limb

With one steady swing

And a newly sharpened blade

I could cut them down

But no one does

They’re too beautiful to be a bother

I lower my head

And I scowl at these plain, ungrateful hands

At they way they keep themselves so hidden

At the way they forget to reach out to others

Always keep hidden

The truth is

They make this day sad

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

flying with nervous wings isn't really flying at all

These adult decisions
These violent, prickly, frazzled butterfly wings
Atop my back..
For the first time.
To spend 4 times what seems like an eternity
At one place?
And call it the best one
"For what I'm doing"
Doesn't even make it sound okay
This other work
That comes between the in between
And makes me feel behind because I am still one foot in..
One foot
We'll see.
For now
I'm blessed to have the use of
My limbs
My breath
My soul.
These adult decisions
Will tire themselves out
Until the little voice within that never grew up
Who laughed at such little faith
Finally speaks

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Beautiful Jan

This quote is from Wikipedia:

Self-immolation is often used to refer to suicide by fire.

Jan Palach

"...was a Czech student who committed suicide by self-immolation as a political protest.

In August 1968, the Soviet Union invaded Czechoslovakia to crush the liberalising reforms of Alexander Dubček's government during what was known as the Prague Spring. A group of Czech students including Palach made a suicide pact intending to sacrifice themselves in protest of the invasion. Palach was the first to die after setting himself on fire in Wenceslas Square in Prague on January 16th, 1969. Most of the others did not go through with their part, after the well-publicized pleas Palach made on his deathbed about the degree of pain they faced.

The funeral of Palach turned into a major protest against the occupation, and a month later (on February 25, 1969) another student, Jan Zajíc, burned himself to death in the same place, followed in April of the same year by Evžen Plocek in Jihlava."

Meet Jan:

He has a beautiful face. He chose to be consumed by fire. He was 21 yrs. old.

Suicide happens everyday. There are roughly 300,00 completed suicides in America annually. Three Ohio State University students committed suicide in the month of February alone.

I have no doubt this young man pictured was depressed. I am working on suicide prevention for school right now, and I am learning that at it's peak depression feels like burning...inside. But too many times, we shrug off the warning signs, we accept the threats as YOUTH...they won't REALLY go through with it.

But they do. So many, young, beautiful people. They don't see how sacrificing themselves in protest, succumbing to depression, not seeking help, not seeing how beautiful they truly are, will kill them.

So please, help them. Help us. Love us, despite our flaws...because we're learning.

And even though we act like we know everything, we don't.

And some of us think we know that the only way out of our struggles is by

Killing ourselves

Burning our faces

Cutting our wrists

Saying "good-bye" without letting anyone know before the letter is read...

In 1969, one young man was left helpless.

Strong enough to lead others to self-destruction (which has many forms and many names and too much false reasoning), yet too weak to LIVE.

And this man:

"He was a student at the technical college, specializing in railroads, and was also interested in poetry and humanities."

This man burned himself too. Set fire to chemical-soaked clothes...and unable to make it out of the doorway into the square, he collapsed and burned to death in the hallway where he was standing.

If you know someone right now who might be suffering from depression, please help them. Reach out, because beautiful people like Jan, people with beautiful potential, are contemplating ending their lives right now...

Sunday, April 4, 2010

'She and her best friend..kissin' on the weekend..'

I've never been in this predicament
But I know people who have.
When you want to be more than just friends with your best friend.
And it makes perfect sense..because people my age tend to want to be more with the opposite sex.
Chest to chest feeling the other breathing.
Yin and yang
Plus and delta
Covex and concave

as you can see...
the picture's pretty clear.
But the drastic potential...of it not working out.
The small breeze of sexual tension twisted into a storm cloud when a fight between friends tastes a flavor different due to the different level of relationship.
relationship |riˈlā sh ənˌ sh ip|nounthe way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected
This word, so difficult to explain.
In a relationshipIn an open relationshipEngagedMarriedIt's complicated...
These words don't make it easier to live with this predicament I've described...I've observed.All predicaments make me wonderEven single.So final-sounding a preferred by some.Mourned by othersWhat makes being single so different when all single people do is flirt and wish and wait and catch the guy's eyes they just bumped into?
"He could be the one.""Wear cute pajamas, you never know who you'll meet in your dreams.""Is he the one?"
So we wait. Us single folk. Us not-in-love-with-our-best-friends single folk. And we wonder...what color his eyes will those tempting moments that taste like honeysuckle dessert morsels kissed with sunshine...called daydreams.
I don't know about you, but I dream in color.