So I'm at school right now and it's a time for silent reading but I'm not in the mood to do that...I would really like to go work on my art project but I'm just stuck to this stupid chair. And what's with a teacher just standing at the front of the room, watching people work? I feel policed, like I should hand prof a baton or something. The minute someone starts talking it's "Are you okay? Do you need something? Are you reading?"
I wrote this a long time ago, in a notebook. When I was writing in it yesterday for homework, I found it. It's very metaphorical and dark (probably one of the darkest ones I've written). I constantly find these random poems (ramblings?) and I just feel like it won't do any good staying where it is. I'm learning to love myself (and my dreams) these days...drama included :)
I am judged
As you dry up everything I like about myself
And leave the faults
I'm left with my faults
I am loved
Under a microscope that searches me for anything you dislike
www.dooce.com (read 'Three sets of ten'...today's entry)
I used to like Heather Armstrong.
She was relatable and quirky and not perfect.
And able to say that.
Then...I guess she got rich?
No lie...she's truly starting to get on my nerves.
A bit pretentious.
I don't know if it's because she doesn't really know who she is.
Or because she just had a baby.
But she's kind of super annoying now.
HOWEVER!!!---this recent post is pretty funny...even though it's slightly stuffy ("yo heather, not all of us can afford a personal trainer, or even a gym membership, thanks" :) (p.s. "i was like your daughter leta, and even though you'll probably like marlo more, maybe you should realize that you could be a lot like leta, and that's why you struggle with her...") haha she'll never read this.
First off....I might just fail pre-calculus...again. I understand it perfectly well...until I take a test.
It's so cold outside I just want to walk around with coals in my pants.
And finally, I'm getting annoyed with the earlier darkness since winter's come.
Let me start off by saying I kicked off the new year in style.
Went to a party...hosted by a pretty famous business man in Florida.
Watched everyone else get crazy about the lobster and filet mignon dinner.
Wore a party hat with feathers before midnight = awesomeness.
Marveled at fireworks shot off the beach.
Looked at antique and extremely expensive cars and vespas belonging to unnamed business man.
It was a blast. And let's not forget the resolutions!!
(A couple years ago, my resolution was to be a vegetarian...and I kept it. I hope that's a good omen for 2010 since last year's "write more letters to my friends" reso. was kind of a bust.
Uno. Gym membership. Need to work out and tone. Maybe it will give me energy, maybe it will make me feel a little closer to being fit.
2. Learn how to sew. Preferably baby things that can be given as baby shower gifts. How cute would it be to receive a little pink dress handmade by a friend?
And... Spread a little more joy
I'd like to end this post mentioning the fact that my first day back to school went poorly. I got so upset during Pre-calc that I actually started shaking, and then I used the "independent study time" to take a walk around the school and cry a little. I'm becoming one of those cliche rebel-at-heart-sick-of-the-small-town whack jobs found in Lifetime movies.
But that walk helped me get it together.
Because life is not measured in bad days. It's measured in days that take you breath away, remind you why life is great, or inspire you to be a better person. It's measured in prayers answered, successes after failures, and trying your best.
This year try your best! Don't let this year just fly by...it shouldn't be forgotten!! Remember every moment and smile!