Sunday, October 18, 2009

My people have eyes

I've been thinking about people this evening.
Specifically, people's people. "These are my people", "What hurts my people, hurts me", "I fight for my people". There's someone for everyone...blahblahblah. We've all heard it. Most of us have people. I'm not really talking about family, although your family might be your people. I'm talking about the people who you turn off your own thoughts for to listen to, not because you're "supposed to" or you have to, but because you want to. The people you care to hear, the people who speak words you make a point to see in your head, because they matter to you. The people you spend time with on the weekend. People who are important in your life. Maybe someone in your "people" group speaks to you and you get goosebumps. Or she talks and you feel an imaginary blanket cover you, head to toe. Or he smiles, and you don't need an explanation, you know why. Your people. You'd fight for them, you'd die for them. You stick with 'em. And no matter what, there's no doubt, no question. They're your people.
So what happens in school? You get mixed up with people who aren't your people. You learn to work with them. You learn to sort of care about them. And some of them, actually make it into your group of "people". This, honestly, is rare, but happens. Go talk to someone who says "high school was the best time of my life". It happened to them.
The reason why I'm writing about this, is because I don't know if I like this idea of having "people". I'm a hypocrite. However, I'm observant. I notice when I tell a white lie to get out of talking to someone who is not a part of my "people". I acknowledge the faults of my people, but I also acknowledge the ways in which I SCREAM YELL FIGHTFIGHTFIGHT, get mad when someone else talks about any and all faults of my people. Including myself. Think about wars. People with people that have tempers, and enemies.
Some people in my group of "people" don't know that they are my people.
Is this pathetic, or is this true for everyone?
I'm also thinking about eyes this evening. There was this show on T.V. called Kyle XY.
Wiki's blurb about it: "Kyle XY is an American drama television series filmed in the Vancouver, British Columbia, area. The show revolves around a boy named Kyle (Matt Dallas), who awakens in a forest outside Seattle, Washington, suffering from amnesia. The series follows Kyle as he tries to understand the mysteries of who he is and why he has no memory of being a child."
Anyway, this Kyle dude goes to live with a family and makes a great observation about eyes. He notices that most of the communication at the dinner table isn't spoken. One study at UCLA indicated that up to 93 percent of communication effectiveness is determined by nonverbal cues.
This connects back to the "my people" talk. I notice my people's nonverbal cues. Sometimes, a lot of the time, I miss those of the people outside of "my people". I need to get better at not doing that, but like every habit, it will take effort, and energy I might not want to generate. I've decided, however, to experiment. Treat someone outside of my people like someone who is a part of my people. We'll see how it goes.
Also, a poem I wrote a long time ago. I love it, so I'm sharing it with some hesitation.

Music is how we heal in this house
How his fingers touch the keys after a day of yelling, and melt away every cold word said.
How I hum along to a melody he makes up
And hug whoever is nearby
Because at the end of an absolutely horrible day
After every decision ever made is evaluated
It all comes down to this piano
And the reason why we all stay even though we're so different
We go on washing dishes and finishing papers and listening to 'Let It Be' as we do just that
And hope in some way the music never stops.

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