Thursday, March 4, 2010

So the frontal lobe of my brain is not yet fully attached

It's weird to me how I'm just like everybody else my age.
How I'm so ready to leave where I am for what's better out there.
Because here, people don't care to be here.
School but other things.
All with people my age. And I don't get why I like to judge people like that when I'm so like that myself. I want to get outta here. Say it everyday. But then, I also just want to love what's around me now. Whoever is around me now, today. But that's hard to do when we all can't wait for the bell to ring, the clock to chime, the year to end, the day to close to open to a better one.
And I don't know why...if it's like I'm impatient or I'm unsure of what will inevitably be a different life for myself. When I'm "grown up" or whatever. What ever will happen, I don't know. But simultaneously, I'm mad at people who don't give a damn about where they are and who sits around them, who's talking to them now, who was talking to them two seconds ago.
You know, teenagers apparently have a very loosely attached frontal lobe? Yeah. It prevents us from having "insight" apparently. We're supposed to love living in the here and now. But no one is really. Make out, come out, break up, make up. Experimenting with relationships of all sorts...it just makes the awful routine of school and work and trying to get into a somewhat good college more fun or something...I don't know. It's pretty rare for anyone to stay with who they're with when they're my age...for them to stay the way they are when they're my age. I can't wait to be grown! But at the same time, I'm sad that we're growing.

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