When I was younger I saw that movie Tuck Everlasting with the girl from Gilmore Girls who I totally think is the prettiest actress ever, and I got SO MAD AT HER at the end!!! Why wouldn't she wait for Jesse?! Didn't she know that he loved her?? But to not have the opportunity to have a family of your own, to be stuck at a specific age, with a specific face, to not have last words, grandkids, or the appreciation of life that comes with a last breath (I'm guessing). I don't know...that seems so unnatural...almost like Las Vegas. Have you ever been to Vegas? It's BEAUTIFUL. But it's also an illusion, because it's in the middle of a dessert, and it's completely unnatural, and without all the money that sustains it, and keeps pumping water into the swimming pools and fountains, keeps misting the tourists that walk into the beautiful hotels (no lie it sprays from the ceiling like the vegetable misters at Meyer) it would be nothing. Just a dry, sandy, deserted part of the world, too hot for anyone who's not a local.
So I'm not a professional, but let's hear from one:
Brendan Shea, in the book Twilight and Philosophy, writes: At the close of 'Breaking Dawn', Bella and her allies appear to be well on their way to "happily ever after". One could imagine how the years after the close of the book might go. Renesmee grows quickly to adulthood and moves away with Jacob. Charlie and Renee grow old and die; alternatively, they become vampires and move in with the rest of the clan. Bella travels the world, attends a variety of famous colleges, and writes a novel of her own. But what then? What will Bella and Edward do two hundred years from now? Or two thousand years from now? Eventually, they will have seen every sight and read every book. If they devote themselves to the task, they may succeed in riding the world of the Volturi, or even converting all vampires to their brand of "vegetarianism". There will, at some point, be nothing left to interest them. After thousands of years, they may even lose any need or desire to speak to each other--each knows what the other will say, and without the person saying it. The problem, it seems, is one of boredom.
Hey, you may disagree. I sure did. "NO!! They'll never fall out of love!! Their love is FOREVER!" But think about it, wouldn't you get bored. Will Vegas last, will Botox keep a person young forever? No. And even in the Twilight world, forever is gonna get dull.
So, I'm blessed with my mortality--and the challenge of using my time wisely!
Here's a poem from today and a while ago:
It's test day and my unsharpened pencil rolls across the table onto the floor.
No one picks it up
I miss the exact moment of starting
I'm not excited enough.
I get so distracted
Grey sunlight picks up the pink iridescent red-blue smudges on a cream colored marker board
Shines rainbow into my eyes
I pull myself back to the sharp math problems on the page
We finished the reading section
No more passages of almost interesting topics to lose myself in.
It's almost night
The sunset bleeds pink light through my closed window
It's too cold for fresh air.
Frozen golden dew drops from this morning
Watch as the sky turns slowly navy.
It's so pitch black scary I can't even see shadows
It's getting late so early now.
I breathe on the freezing cold glass and draw pictures
A heart, a smile a question mark.
That cricket is still alive
Crying for help behind the T.V.
It's dark back there
He's used to it now
His new nightmare come alive
I wish I could help.