Tuesday, November 24, 2009

so new moon...was amazing

SO...we went to the movie theater last weekend...and started to laugh. The line for New Moon wrapped around the side of the theater, and it was roped off like people were in line for the new "Halo" game or something. As I looked around, it seemed like everyone from my little town was there. I'd also like to say that the boyfriends that were there seriously get my vote for being some of the most dedicated I had ever seen...since there was indeed screaming at the many 'taking-off-the-shirt' moments.
So let's talk about this experience in steps.
Step 1: Embarrass my brother royally by kissing him on the cheek and trying to hold his hand. "No! There are hot girls here and they'll think you're my girlfriend"...and then laughing at him when he wouldn't let me go to the bathroom by myself...all of this happened while standing in line to get into the theater.
Step 2: STAMPEDE! into the theater...runrunrunrunrun to get a good seat, and sit next to a middle-aged woman who informed me that this was her 3rd time watching New Moon...at this point the movie had been out for exactly 3 days.
Step 3: Listen to the uninterrupted screaming when the LIGHTS SLOWLY WENT DOWN! OH MAN PEOPLE...CAN YOU BELIEVE IT...THE LIGHTS WENT DOWN!!!
Step 4: I'm getting good at this. This minute a new Robert Pattinson movie starts running it's trailer, I cover my ears. Did he make another movie unrelated to Twilight, scheduled to run trailers at the exact time New Moon came out, on purpose?!?! The screaming is SO LOUD, that I can't: think, breathe, concentrate, whisper to that lady next to me how ridiculous this is. (On a side note, the movie, titled, 'Remember Me', looks phenomenal...and I do want to see it when it comes out in theaters.)
Step 5: Did I mention the screaming? The movie starts and when Kristen Stewart (Bella) falls off her motorcycle and hits her head...there is no bandage. Of course, Taylor Lautner (Jacob Black) conveniently pulls his shirt over his head and presses it to the wound, exposing his killer abs. Let me just say, "props, tay-boy, props". He got seriously ripped for this movie, and that must have taken some WORK yo.
Step 6: Witness some serious sparkling by the quite handsome, Rob Pattinson. There are too many "slowly unveil the abs" scenes in this movie. This sparkling is bad, though, because revealing himself in sunlight in front of all the Italian people at the outdoor celebration would mean DEATH (I'm not explaining...just go read the books dude)
Step 7: Dakota Fanning as the character Jane is a JOKE with a capital J. In the book, Jane is Aro's lover, who is in her twenties, has dark hair, and would never feel the need to murmur "pain" in a monotone voice before inflicting pain on one of her victims. Dakota's Malibu-Barbie dirty blonde hair is a let down, and since she's too young to be Aro's lover without Summit getting sued, Jane has now been transformed into the sister of a younger member of the Volturi (the bad, law-enforcing vamps). This young man is totally not vampire worthy. According to my brother, "That was ALL for publicity! The brother looked like your typical Disney Channel star with a Justin Bieber swoop haircut, and that stupid line, 'good job sister'. I bet he'd just finished filming a scene for 'Suite Life on Deck'. Why didn't they have Zac and Cody be a duo of Volturi brothers instead...just for laughs?" Yeah so...we were so not buying that story line change.
Step 8: Scream OUT LOUD!! with Edward's ending line of, "marry me". Then the screen went black, and I almost jumped out of my seat. WHAT?!?! A CLIFFHANGER?! Wrong yo, seriously wrong.
I hope I didn't ruin the movie for you. If you like action packed romance (think Transformers with some class + Romeo and Juliet) you'll seriously enjoy this movie. I missed the dreamlike, artistic feel of the first one, (and the music in the first one was wayyy better...Twilight 1 has some seriously good tunes...chech out the soundtrack) but the loss of the Indy style was expected since there is more pressure to please more people now that the Twilight phenom has exploded. All in all, I'd give it 4 stars. You won't get bored, but hopefully you won't get an audience of screamers.

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